Too often, married couples pull away from each other instead of working things out in a healthy way. If you or your partner tend to hold things inside and seethe quietly about disagreements, it’s time to change your communication style. You’d be surprised how many arguments and irritations can be solved by simply taking the time to talk with each other every day, without distractions.
When you talk about topics of contention, resist the urge to point fingers and accuse your partner of causing all the problems in your marriage. Swap phrases like “you always…” and “I hate it when you…” for healthier options like “I feel like…” and “It seems like…”. When your spouse doesn’t feel attacked, he or she will be less defensive and more open to working through issues.
When you’re unhappy in your marriage, you may be more likely to nit-pick and obsess over petty things. Instead of doing that, identify the major issues you and your spouse have with each other, then brainstorm ways both you and our partner can work to resolve them. Even if divorce lawyers are already involved, you and your spouse can rectify major problems and save the marriage.
When you’re focused on your spouse’s negative behaviors, it’s easy to overlook his or her good traits. Sometimes saving a marriage is as easy as shifting your focus and noticing the areas in which your partner excels. When you notice good things, mention them. Doing nice things for your spouse on a regular basis is another way to foster love and appreciation in your marriage.